Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Another Eric Story

Eric the Monster Slayer Annihilates the Dreaded Abominable Snowman and Rides His New Sled
So the other day was a snow day and I wasn’t about to waste any time sleeping in. I leapt out of bed and grabbed my favorite red sweater, jeans, a flannel shirt, big green jacket, and my awesome fur lined gloves my grandpa got me for Christmas. They’re great for making snowballs ‘cause the outer lining keeps them pretty dry and there’s nothing worse than trying to play in the snow with wet, frost-bitten hands.
Even though I missed my dad since he was kidnapped by my arch nemesis Dr. Deathly and his evil radioactive monkeys, I was kind of glad he wouldn’t be joining me for sledding this year. I know it sounds bad, but I really wanted to ride on Murder Hill and if Dad was here, he would tell me I couldn’t. But it’s like, I kill monsters all the time; I think I can handle a stupid hill.
So after throwing on two layers of socks and a pair of rubber boots, I was ready to go. I found my mom downstairs in the living room, staring out the window at the white wonderland of awesomeness.
“How deep is it, Mom?”
She glanced absently at me. Oh no, she must be thinking about Dad getting
“Oh. I don’t know… The news said about three feet. That’s a whole lot of snow, baby. Are you wearing enough clothes? You know you can’t go out unless you can stay warm.”
“Mo-om, don’t call me ‘baby.’ I’m almost seven and a half now!”
She turned away and continued to stare sadly out the window, watching the tiny snowflakes still falling.
“So, Mom? I’ve got like five layers of clothes on. Can I go out now, please?”
The last thing I wanted to do was make her even more upset. I hate when she gets in these moods. I never know how to act or what to do to not make her feel worse. Sometimes I wish she’d do something to help me find Dad instead of just sitting around moping, but I guess she’s still in shock over everything. Besides, she doesn’t know enough about fighting monsters, so she’d probably just get in the way.
Finally! Outside and into the fluffy, white, wonderful snow! I dove into the closest snow pile and let out my most fearsome war cry as I dug like a mole through it, building it up to create my first snow fort of the season. I’d love to see any monsters get past my famous snow forts!
Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to try it out. Monsters don’t like snow, at least none that I’ve ever seen. Most of them hibernate and try to stay warm. Yet another reason to love the snow. No school and no monster slaying. Can’t beat that.
About an hour later, I was done with my fort and ready for some real action. I ran inside to grab my amazing new sled, yelling hi to my mom as I burst back through the door ten seconds after entering. At last, I’d get to brave Murder Hill.
Sled under my arm, I trudged through the thick snow, which was really tough-going since it was almost up to my armpits. I didn’t see many other people on my walk, but when I reached the park, there were tons of little kids sledding down the bunny slopes and Murder Hill had no takers. It was all mine. Sweet.
It took me forever to climb up that hill. It was on the far edge of the park, away from everyone and was bordered by some woods where I do a lot of hunting. It’s like Monster Central in there. But luckily, I didn’t have to worry about anything trying to attack me and interrupt my sled ride. Or so I thought…
When I finally got to the top of the hill, I was sweating and red-faced despite the cold, but it was so worth it. I was going to ride this thing and it was going to be amazing. I got my sled in just the right position and had barely placed one foot in before I heard a terrible guttural growl close behind me.
No way…
A beast with grayish white fur, yellow eyes, and a bloody mouth full of nasty jagged teeth was standing there on two legs watching me. And trust me, I know hungry looks, and this thing was hungry…
I quickly leapt into action, pulling my carefully concealed pocket knife out of my boot and rushing toward the snow beast. Nothing was about to keep me from riding down that hill, especially not some stupid monster I didn’t even know existed.
The creature met my challenge and rushed out to meet me and when it got closer, I realized I’d underestimated its size. It was way too big for me to fight hand to hand, but
luckily, I had an idea…
Just when the creature was close enough to grab me and pull me into its open jaws, I leapt aside quickly and threw myself into a soft snow bank. When I looked up a half-second later, the snow monster flew forward and landed square in my sled, which launched itself down the dangerously steep slope, taking the beast with it. I jumped up and peered over the edge as my sled carried the screaming creature down the hill faster and faster and faster. I watched in bittersweet relief as the sled and its evil passenger were thrown into the trunk of a large maple tree just near the bottom of the slope and the beast burst into ashes upon impact. I was terrified for my sled, but man, victory was sweet…
I inched down the hill on my butt carefully, desperate to see if my sled was okay. When the slope evened out a little bit and it was safe enough to stand up, I jogged over to my overturned sled and gingerly lifted it up. Besides being a little dusty with monster ashes, it was perfectly fine. A wide grin spread across my face and I looked up behind me at the hill that had helped me win my battle. After seeing what had happened to the snow beast, I was glad I hadn’t ridden down. My dad was right, that thing was dangerous.

My ride down the bunny hill was fantastic.

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